Thursday, 29 January 2009

Pearls of Wisdom....

Thought I'd share these.....

1. If you squeeze the hoover bag while looking in it to see how full it is, you will get a face full of dust and god knows what else. I tested this theory this very morning...
2. Children are full of surprises. They're not always of the good kind...
3. We're all different shapes. We're meant to be different shapes. We're not all meant to be 6 stone nothing. Would the media kindly shut the f*** up now about dieting/obesity and find a different horse to flog because
a) it's boring
b) I've just had to listen to 14 year olds talking about who's dieting
and c) we're not all stupid! Well.... not all of the time anyway....
4. Following on from number 3...Wedding dresses look better on girls with a bit of shape. Girls you DON'T need to loose another half a stone.
5. When you get to a certain age don't go and put your make up on while using a different mirror to usual, especially if it means looking down. Because when you look up again it takes a few seconds for everything to catch up...
6. I don't think I'll ever feel like the adult in the room. That's no bad thing...
7. D.N.A stands for deoxyribonucleicacid. I learnt that for biology 'o' level, and know one has ever asked me. So I'm telling you...
8. When Mr.M says he hasn't left me much petrol in the car, what he actually means is that the petrol gauge has flatlined and he's coasted home from Birmingham on fumes (passing at least 3 garages on his merry way...)
9. Cooking the tea is more interesting if you watch telly and surf the Internet at the same time.
10. You will burn the tea if you watch telly and surf the Internet at the same time as cooking. Again, not necessarily a bad thing.

That's not actually that much wisdom to show for 40 years on the planet!

Hey ho, feel free to add your own pearls of wisdom......!!

5 comments:

Daisie said...

And...."Don't sweat the petty things and really don't pet the sweaty things!"

And if you inadvertantley say shit on the way home from school your seven year old will take great delight in relaying the fact to your mother-in-law!

xxx

Griffin said...

We are all of us, 50% bacteria. I'm not sure that's a pearl of wisdom but it gave me one hell of a shock! Even if most of those bacteria are well-behaved, pillar of the community types.

I have 45 years on the planet... I can't help wishing I hadn't bothered somehow. Still, bacteria to provide an ecosystem for... sigh!

cloud9 said...

The only pearls of anything I can think of is the ones before swine and something vaguely smutty. We've got loads of snow, no school today!!!!!!!!

cloud9 said...

I have to stop 'swinging by' your blog because a) I have an essay to write: total word count 49 and that's the page number, my name and the question.
b) It makes me want, nay, need jaffa cakes and the taller one in this marriage has the car today and tell me: who WALKS to the shop these days?

Lucy Moose said...

Mmmmm, yes, was in the middle of nowhere dogwalking and realised the petrol was on "fuel = 0 miles". Thanks darling! But you can't beat a good burnt tea. x