I'm posting early, half term kicks in today and Club Penguin obviously has priority over the internet!
My Demon? Nothing major and quite common I think - lack of self-confidence/self-belief.
I wish I was one of those people that decided something and did it rather, than feeling that they need permission, approval or just weren't qualified.
It comes and goes, annoyingly it's not even consistent! I packed up the family and moved them from London to Warwickshire without a second thought. I was always fine about starting new jobs, I knew I was good . But now if someone asks me to make them a dress? I get cold sweats and worry that I'm not good enough. Hello! 15 years as a pattern cutter and sewing since I could walk apparently. Someone give me a slap because I'm getting on my own nerves!!
Maybe it's because I was always The Good Girl, did as she was told, no fuss, smiley but quiet. I still wouldn't dream of parking on double yellow lines- that would be outrageous!! (I do grab the girls hands and make them run down the school corridors when no-one's looking though! Such a REBEL!!!)
Maybe it's because I'm short, 5'2", that's ALOT of arrogant tall blokes talking over the top of my head (and I mean literally) not listening or acknowledging me, not valuing my opinion only to repeat it back to me seconds later as if it's their own!!
Mostly it's fine, I've surrounded myself with great friends and family and the super-annoyingly confident bordering on arrogant people don't really have a permanent place in my life anyway. They add nothing to it.
But the thing I've wanted to do for the longest time is sell My Stuff, maybe alot maybe a little, I've wanted to do this since Bigski was a baby ( she's already 13) and I've realized I have to be pro-active, get over my self-promotion issues. I have to stop holding myself back. I don't need or want to change who I am, I'm nice and that's more than good enough. I just have to believe in me a bit more.
So here's THE PLAN!
Step 1: This blog was step one, it took me along time to do it, MONTHS and MONTHS!!!but now you can't shut me up!
Step 2: Craft Fair in Leamington Spa at the Pump Rooms on June 1st. I'll be there! (Selling that is, not just buying!)
Step 3: Register an Etsy shop. DID IT!!! http://www.irisandlilyhandmade.etsy.com/ Got nothing in it yet, but Rome wasn't built in a day you know!
Step 4: Coffee and cake
Step 5: Promote day job to pay for other faffings! ( Am self-employed alterations/sewing lady, which I like.)
Step 6: Breathe! Enjoy! Create! Coffee and cake!
Step 7: Get someone to remind me that I've got a plan, and it's just as valuable/important in the great scheme of things as everything else. Just as important, listen to yourself Shar, JUST AS IMPORTANT NOT LESS!!
This turned out to be a long rambling, emotional post. I'd say sorry for that, but I refuse to apologise for myself anymore! I knew you'd understand.
And thanks to Drewzel for this weeks "This is..... !"